Make My Rapid Heart Beat Naturally

What use is a summer holiday if all you want to do is start college? And what's the point in living by the sea if it rains throughout the summer? I thought this summer was going to be the best yet. I thought that because we'd have an extra few weeks off and nothing to worry about for the next school year that the summer holidays would just be packed full of good times yet I find that my days seem to revolve around someone interesting signing onto msn.

I suppose it's my own fault, I haven't planned anything in advance and can never think of anything to do when I actually get round to planning something. Is it just me or is everyone constantly busy or working? Speaking of work, I should probably get a job but nobody seems to be hiring.

On the plus side I've managed to cross a few things off my list of things to do.

1. Laugh until I cry.
2. Go outside everyday.
3. Get a tan.
4. Meet someone new.
5. Finish 2 books.
6. Get in shape.
7. Pass my exams.
8. Do the RFL.
9. Go to prom.
10. Go on a picnic.
11. Stay at the beach until it gets dark.
12. Swim in the sea at night.
13. Go shopping with a group of friends in Brighton.
14. Taste kiwi.

I doubt I will get in shape now, I'm just too lazy and have no-one to spur me on. Instead I ate through a tub of Ben & Jerry's Caramel Chew Chew within two days. Oh yes, so healthy.

I read in someone's blog that Justin Timberlake sung on the Black Eyed Pea's song 'Where in the love' and like the person said on their blog, you learn something everyday.

I've come to the conclusion that certain boys with the same name can be a right nuisance. Now not all people with this name are as irritating as the cases belong, just a few that I've met or know about.

Case 1: The Stalker
This kind of boy will constantly talk to you about things you really don't care about just because you're kind enough to pretend you like whatever the topic happens to be. They will also think that you both are similar most likely because you can them a little attention when others did not.

Case 2: The Love-Struck Frog
This case is much similar to The Stalker. He will pester you, bully you, do anything just to try and make you go out with him. This particular person did exactly that to a friend and although it was hilarious to watch at first you begin to realise how embarrassing and awkward everything is becoming. They're attention seeking and will say things to shock you. To beat this case down be as blunt as you can. Don't think about how you may feel, you need to get rid of this frog as soon as possible before things spiral out of control.

Case 3: The Invisible Man
The boy seems lovely at first, he will compliment you, flatter you, maybe even ask you out - and you will say yes. Things go fine for a while, you keep telling yourself "I'll see him soon" and "There's always next week". This isn't the case though and he soon becomes impossible to find. So you dump him and then he has the nerve a week later to break up with you - confusing? That's what we though when this happened to a friend. Silly boy.

Why do they all have the same names? Is it pure coincidence or do their parents plan to set their sprog on the world, aiming to get them to grow up into irritating, thoughtless teenage boys? It's ridiculous.

Can you tell nobody's online at the moment?

Shush Girl, Shut Your Lips

It's been two days since the Harry Potter premiere but I'm sure I've only just got back. Let me run you through the day?

4:15am: Wake up at Holly's.
4:30am: Marmite on toast for breakfast
5:45am: Drive to the coach station in Bournemouth
6:10am: Coach leaves for London
9:00am: Arrive in London
10:00am: Reach Leister Square
10:10am: Begin waiting for premiere start
Midday: Only 5 and a half hours to go
3:00pm: Only 2 and a half hours to go, rain begins
5:00pm: Half an hour to go, hail and thunder begins
5:30pm: Premiere begins, rain still hasn't stopped
5:45pm: Begin to see actors/producers/everyone else on the red carpet
7:00pm: We see the trio so close were could reach out and grab them
7:30pm: Film has started, we grab something to eat
8:00pm: Start walking back to coach station, walk past Gordon Ramsey and don't even realise
9:00pm: Reach coach station and meet foreign students who'd also been at the premiere
10:00pm: Get onto coach to go home
12:30am: Reach coach station in Bournemouth
1:00am: Get home
1:30am: Get into bed and fall asleep

Tuesday was so tiring, we ran on 3 and a half/four hours sleep for roughly 20 hours. We were rained on, hailed on, packed in like cattle, couldn't breathe properly from the sheer amount of people around us, shivered our way through for about 10 hours and didn't eat or pee or sit for 12 hours. And you know what? It was all worth it for that one amazing photo Holly captured of Rupert Grint:


You see, that's how close we were; amazing, no?

The premiere was absolutely fantastic and I'm so so so happy I went. It's one of those things that we said we'd go to but usually don't get round to it - but this time we actually did it. We were there in the rain so close to the stars it was incredible.

Now, I don't plan to go to another premiere any time soon but for the last one I will. It doesn't come out until 2011 so we'll have plenty of time to recover from this one.

Now all there is to do is actually see the film; we booked our tickets today for 1:30pm at the odeon. And yes, we will be dressing up again.

If Home Is Where The Heart Is Then We're All Just F*cked

So I've written the first chapter of one of the stories I was planning. The story is called "Rib Bones" and is starting off very slowly. Would you like a taster?

Noah and Gabrielle had grown up together, their friendship had started when Gabrielle and her mum (who had been pregnant with Gabrielle’s younger sister at the time) had moved into the house next door to Noah’s family. With Sears being such a small town it was custom for the neighbours to welcome new families into the area so Noah’s mother and father had come round with their children to say hello.

Noah was 2 months older then Gabrielle so they were the same age when they had met. Noah’s older brother was 4 years older and had been forced by his dad to come round and say hello; as soon as that was done he had disappeared back home to play his video games. Noah also had a baby sister who had been asleep when the family had come round to greet the new neighbours so in the end it was just Noah and Gabrielle who played ‘house’ as the parents had chatted about the town, careers and other various topics.

The two children’s friendship grew when they found they were in the same primary school in the same class. This was not too much of a coincidence as Gabrielle was either going to go to the public school that Noah went to or the private school that was a 20 drive away from the town and cost a bomb each term.

Noah, being one of the geeky, quiet children, was happy to welcome the ‘new kid’ as a friend and seeing as they had already met it seemed natural for them to become friends.

As they grew older Gabrielle began to make new friends who at first had said that she should get rid of her ‘geeky shadow’ of a friend Noah but she stood by him and told them straight that if they were going to be friends they’d have to accept Noah too.

New friends also brought new boyfriends for Gabrielle; although they were still young she was seen as one of the pretty girls in school which people admired. Noah was protective of Gabrielle just as she had been for him when her new friends had rejected him. The boys at school used to wind him up saying how he loved her but both Gabrielle and Noah had said that they thought nothing more of each other then best friends.

This changed however when they moved up to high school and their child-like innocence was washed away with the arrival of new, older people who swore and said ‘naughty things’ in front of them.

Noah no longer felt the same way towards Gabrielle as he had for the first few years that he had known her. He didn’t see a child anymore, he realised how much she had grown up. She had curves and confidence that seemed to have sprung up over night. Noah felt he had to impress her to keep her friendship. He was jealous when she was asked out on dates by other boys and he felt like he could be so much better for her.

He started to act differently, he wanted her attention. He cut his hair, bought new clothes, changed his look but nothing seemed to interest her. To Gabrielle he was still the same old Noah that he always had been.

It wasn’t until three years of crushing over Gabrielle that Noah finally decided to do something. It was New Years Eve and Gabrielle had recently dumped her latest boyfriend who hadn’t met her standards. They were on the beach sat on a blanket watching the fireworks leading up to midnight when Noah had hugged her close as he noticed her shivering. She leaned into her best friend used to his comforting hugs from the many times she had curled up to him sobbing over the last boy who had broken her heart. Noah had felt nervous, he knew this was going to be that make or break moment that people talk about. Just as midnight was announced and people all around them cheered, he had lifted Gabrielle’s face towards him and kissed her. Both hearts fluttering they melted into each other savouring the moment. The minute they broke apart Noah panicked wondering what she was going to think but Gabrielle just wrapped up closer to him and smiled.

“I hoped you would do that” was what she had said as Noah rested his head on hers. He felt an almighty sense of success and was completely elated. She had hoped it was going to happen and it had. No longer did she see him as that Noah he always had been but the confident, worthy Noah he had always hoped to be.

That extract is from around the middle of the chapter and is one of the mushy bits. It's not all like that and nothing like the whole story. It seems that the story begins all happy and lovely until about chapter 3 so who knows.

I'm going up to the Harry Potter premiere in London tomorrow with a friend and I cannot wait. We're getting a coach at 6:10am and getting there for about 9:30am-ish. Oh it's going to be good!

Sammy I love you and I hope it all sorts itself out.

Trade Baby Blues For Wide Eyed Browns

I've started planning stories again. I always do this, I'll start a story, get bored, forget about it for months on end, begin thinking about a new idea and start planning one instead. This stories I'm planning are all based off of drawings that I found on deviantART, this set of drawings in fact.

So far I've only finished planning 2 of the 9 that I hope to do. Now I'm not the most amazing writer and the planning probably won't make sense but I thought I'd share them. I know that the stories are very cliche but that's how I roll nowadays. 8-|

Red

Jennifer

Romantic

Fiery

Looking for love in all the wrong places, best friend turns out to be the type she’s been looking for all along.

Chapters

1. Introduction, person, family, scene
2. High school, best friend intro (guy), begins to admire someone, tells female friend
3. Admiration continues, warnings from friend about guy being “jerk, untrustworthy”
4. Starts getting gifts, chocolates, notes in locker, flowers, party invite.
5. Jen takes best friend along, finds guy, goes upstairs, things going too fast, best friend finds them, “frees” Jen, leave together back to best friend’s house, best friend calms Jen down, end up getting closer then usual, kiss, makes things awkward, Jen stays over the night, nothing else happens, leaves early in the morning.
6. Tells female friend what happened, intro to friend (anecdote), doesn’t talk to best friend, sees him hanging out with his other friends, tells herself she’s not jealous just confused
7. Meets new guy through female friend, he seems like the perfect man but Jen’s troubled, intro to new guy, goes on date with him, very romantic guy (Jamie’s comment), begins to forget best friend
8. Guy carries on being all romantic, beach walks, spots best friend, stab of jealousy that Jen ignores, new guy asks her out, says yes
9. Jen begins to get detached from new guy, something bothering her, not afraid but don’t want to be near, at the same time she wants to be as close as possible, feeling like a hedgehog warm but with spikes
10. Guy dumps her, says she is too cold, puts him off, uses every excuse in the book, Jen becomes just as crushed as before with other guy but this time with no-one to comfort her like best friend did, gets back into contact with best friend, realises how jealous she is that he has got himself a girlfriend, female friend tells her how obvious it is that she likes best friend
11. Argument about how she’s been the one who drove them apart but she thinks it was him, end up yelling about the kiss, makes things awkward again, argument subsides, talk things out, best friend ends up telling Jen has always loved her, Jen is the one that kisses him this time
12. News spreads fast around the school, best friend has dumped girlfriend, Jen and best friend are dating, glares from romantic guy, female friend “I told you so”, happily ever after.

This one isn't the greatest, I know but to be fair I didn't spend much time planning it as I was already thinking about the next colour. I probably won't write this one but leave it for if I get bored at any point and fancy being creative.

Pink

Gabrielle

Beautiful girl

Kind, average

Always looking for ways to look better

Chapters

1. Intro to school, Gabrielle, crew of friends (not full info just small descriptions)
2. Gab and friend find job in magazine for modelling agency, Gab asks parents, intro to family, family say yes after some persuasion, begin to prepare for job interview, make-over etc.
3. Up to London studio for job, hundreds of applicants, all beautiful, thin, tall. Gab is slightly shorter, perhaps one dress size larger (size 10), does not think of this as friend is ranting about how models who are thin can be so up themselves, friend has not gone for job just for support, mother also agrees with friend, says being that thin can’t be enjoyable. Jen is called for interview, interviewer is “crisp, sharp woman” like Janice Dickinson, makes a quite “urgh” sound as Gab enters, Gab answer questions perfectly, Janice-like woman says so but to loose a few pounds and try again next time, does not thank Gab, Gab is shocked, doesn’t want to talk about it
4. Gab spends time looking at all the current models, magazines and adverts all show beautiful, thin girls, begins looking in mirror and sees nothing like that, wants to be accepted like that and consults friend about what she thinks is fat. Friend intro, friend argues about how plus size models are just as beautiful, Gab takes this the wrong way, thinks she’s a plus size model, becomes depressed, talks to boyfriend about it, boyfriend doesn’t really get it and tells her that she’s beautiful, doesn’t change Gab’s mind, is just disgusted at herself, begins tugging at parts of herself, wants to change, decides to do something about it.
5. Food-cut begins, begins with simple diet, begins running, proud for doing something, mum noticing a change, asks if everything is okay, Gab says everything is fine and nothing to worry about just getting in shape. Wants to do more so makes diet more gruelling, searches online for tips, sees bulimic website and thinks “she’ll never be that bad”, just a couple of pounds to loose. Boyfriend gets worries, also asks if she’s alright, not spending as much time together, Gab brushes this off, friend from job interview questions, Gab gets angry with everyone asking, argument with friend.
6. Bullying at school begins; Gab is getting really thin, thinks bullies are being sarcastic calling her “rib bones” as a joke to show how fat she is. Begins exercising more and more, counting calories with everything, still looking at pictures of models in secret, knows her mum is suspicious, not seeing what other people see in the mirror, “Annie” story, becomes fascinated with ribs, collarbones and spine, likes how they stick out slightly but not enough, sees other girls at school who seem a lot thinner then her without trying, depression, boyfriend becoming stressed and irritated with her behaviour, breaks it off, Gab can think of nothing but her weight. Torn to pieces with break up, stops eating for a few days, doesn’t even feel the hunger, says it’s all to do with the breakup but it’s not, tries to talk to friend she had the argument with but she doesn’t really want to listen, tells Gab she’s changed, tells her she’s getting ridiculously thin but Gab still can’t see it. At home she begins to see that her clothes are hanging off her more and more - sees this as a good thing, she wants to leave the old Gab behind.
7. Winter begins, can feel the cold a lot more, tires her out, refuses to eat all the Christmassy food her mum lays out in the week leading up to Christmas, explanation about how her mum goes frantic at Christmas, Christmas gets here, intro to Christmas day etc., Christmas dinner only manages to eat a bit of turkey and some veg, feels sick for eating “so much”, excuses self, is sick, is shaky and ill when sibling finds her, tells them to tell mum & dad she’s gone to bed, mother feels sorry for her, thinks it was her cooking.
8. At school after the Christmas holidays all the girls seem to be talking about “how much weight they’ve put on”, Gab is anxious and sure someone will notice how “fat she’s become”, in lessons the learn about eating disorders and how it affects the body, whispers and looks from people in her class, makes her more anxious, pulled aside by the teacher at the end of the lesson, asks if everything is okay, Gab seems a little anxious and off, Gab says Christmas has just been stressful, blames it on “having to be round the family for so long” and laughs it off, teacher isn’t convinced. Christmas break has healed thrift between friend & Gab, Gab tells her about teacher “being nosey”, friend doesn’t say anything, friend gets invite to birthday party and invites Gab along, intro to party host, clothes shopping, can’t find anything to fit properly, Gab hasn’t been clothes shopping in months, gets upset with having to look in mirrors all the time, friend notices but Gab says nothing, instead helps friend pick out outfit, is envious of her flattering body and wishes she “looked like that” even though she’s already tiny.
9. Party time, big shindig, intro to it, Gab refuses to drink, knows how fattening it can be, cake is brought out, Gab forces herself to eat some as her friend is looking at her warily, explanation of how “disgusting and disappointed” Gab feels afterwards, excuses herself to bathroom, contemplating making herself sick, wants to get the fat out, takes a couple of tries to make herself sick, description of triumph and although it is disgusting being sick it makes her feel in control and happy, friend finds her afterwards, Gab says it was “food poisoning” but friend is still suspicious, says she should go home but Gab refuses, that would raise more suspicion, she’s completely conscious of her actions but doesn’t want people to know about it, tries to enjoy party but is feeling exhausted after just a few hours, passes out from exhaustion, wakes up in strange room, goes downstairs and realises she’s still at the party house, lots of people have left, friend and host are there, “oh look who’s alive, thought you had too much to drink, couldn’t take you to hospital, would get caught out by police”, friend is mighty suspicious, Gab still won’t say anything.
10. Friend starts to realise what’s going on and asks her straight out, Gab says how can she be when she looks the way she is, friend is shocked and tells her there’s nothing to her, Gab gets angry and says she has to say that - she’s her friend, friend gets upset but doesn’t stop asking if there’s anything she can do, tells her how she can’t watch Gab waste away anymore, it’s getting ridiculous, Gab begins eating at school to get her friend off her back but is sick straight afterwards in the loos to get rid of it, friend is still suspicious and really upset and breaks down crying saying how she misses her old friend, Gab turns away “embarrassed to look at her, disturbed”, friend tries a different tactic, tries shocking her into eating, shows Gab photos of what she looks like compared to before, Gab takes no notice, seems completely unfazed, deep down she is, Gab invites friend round to talk through problems with her, finally agrees to chat about what’s really going on, sat in bedroom, small bedroom description, talk over what Gab has been doing, friend is not shocked this time, had guessed most of it, Gab explains Christmas and party scenario, both decide to go for a walk to think things through about what they can do, Gab agrees to do something about her weight but wants to do things slowly and her way.
11. At school friend is monitoring Gab but Gab is still sneaking off to the loos, another argument about how friend realises and Gab isn’t doing anything to help herself, Gab says that “maybe she isn’t ready for it yet”, big argument, Gab sways suddenly and friend catches her, asks if she’s okay, Gab scrambles up and says she’s fine, tells friend to leave her alone, turns to go and passes out again, friend panics, description of how frail and lifeless Gab looks now. Gab wakes up in hospital, description of the bright lights, beeping noises, chained-to-bed-feeling, feels tube in her nose, is being force fed, rips out NG (naso-gastric) tube to stop being force fed, refuses to be given food without consent, doctors come in, tell her if she gets any thinner she will die, give her two options: be force fed or go to the counsellor, chooses counsellor.
12. Counsellor description, mother-duck type of woman, Gab thinks it is a waste of time, she’s not anorexic/bulimic, just on a diet, stops going to sessions, tells mum she’ll go on her own and then hides around town/in the park, ex-boyfriend finds her and is shocked at how she looks, asks her how things have been, Gab laughs saying how the doctors think she’s crazy, boy tells her how thin she looks though, Gab hugs goodbye, sees him well up after the hug, tells her that it’s like hugging a skeleton and he doesn’t remember his old girl-friend ever being this way before, Gab is shocked at her ex-boyfriend being so upset over it, hits home how far things have gone, goes back to counsellor and begs them to help her, she doesn’t want to be like this anymore, she wants her old life back, mother and friend are rejoiced at news that things are finally turning round, long road to recovery.

As you can see I spent a lot more time on this one and yet it's still very cliche. I don't know whay but eating disorders sort of fascinate me but don't take that the wrong way, I'm just interested to see what triggers things like anorexia or obesity.

Now that I've started I can't seem to stop making up new ideas for stories. I'm off to see what I can come up with for orange and yellow now. I may post them, I may not. I thought I'd just share with you what I've been doing for the past day or so.

This Is The Way You Left Me, I'm Not Pretending

The past three days have been so eventful in good and bad ways. Let's do this chronologically.

Tuesday
Tuesday was torrential rain all day and I loved it. On my way to the beach to meet friends, I bumped into another and dragged her along with me. We were heading to the beach to swim in the sea, and why not, it's all good fun. Just as we get to the beach the rain begins to get ridiculous so we whip off our clothes down to our bikini's and go running and screaming in the sea. Not surprisingly, it wasn't that cold seeing as the beach was freezing.

As we get under cover of the pier again a photographer clambers over to us and flashes his press badge at us.
"Do you mind if I have a photo of you running along the beach with your towels shielding you?" he asked the four of us. This had never happened as of yet to any of us so I told him yes before any of the others could disagree. After running along multiple times to get the shot he wanted he thanked us and said that we'd be in one of the national newspapers the next day. Excellent we though, all we have to do now it find out which one.

After drying off in the toilets we braved the outside world again for the trek home. As my friend and I live on the same road we trudged along together. The amount of double-takes we received were quite substantial, after all you don't usually see girls walking along in their bikini's in a downpour on a Tuesday afternoon.

Wednesday
Wednesday was the new students open day for the college I'm planning on going to in September. The day was brilliant, not only did I meet a whole load of lovely people but I saw a friend from primary school that I haven't spoken to for 5 years.

The classes were fun too, graphics was the best as we actually got to do something rather then just listen to the tutors talk about the subject. We had to make "confessions" cards on pieces of blank white card roughly the size of a postcard but cutting up magazines, drawing, writing and generally using our imagination. Now, seeing as it was quite early in the morning I couldn't think of what to put so ended up cutting out a load of random sentences and images from the magazines and sticking them onto the card. When Kerry the tutor read out the confessions (thankfully none of them had names on) she told us that whoever had created the one with "poison" and "fabulous, phyco" was very deep and perhaps needs to "lighten up a bit". I almost laughed out loud at this. Deep? Hardly. It was just a load of random quotes. Nothing to be taken seriously, silly woman.

But that's not all that happened. In my film studies class I couldn't think of my favourite TV show and said that I just watched whatever was on. Sadly, Alex the tutor took this as I "didn't have any character". Thanks for that. Although according to multiple people I've spoken to, Alex is a complete legend so I can't exactly complain about him now can I?

Although the day was spectacular in didn't end well at all. Around midday I began feeling lightheaded, sickly and generally unwell. I knew exactly what was wrong and it was completely my fault for not stopping it before it was too late. By the way I've described it, it sounds as if I was dying (and at the time it felt like I was) but really all that had happened was dehydration or sunstroke. I get it at least once or twice every summer so why should this summer be any different? But why did it have to happen on the open day of all days? Because of this I couldn't enjoy my photography class as much as I would have liked and ended up spending it concentrating on not being sick. That would have gone down well in September wouldn't it?
"Oh, I remember you! You're the girl who puked!" Yeah. Great.

The problem with the college is that it's so far out and it takes a twenty minute train journey to get home. Yesterday's train journey home seemed a lot long though. Thankfully I managed to find a seat in the corner of the carriage where people weren't likely to take much notice of me - which they didn't for the most part. It wasn't until I felt my hands go suddenly clammy, my back start to sweat and I swallowed for the first time in 15 minutes that I realised I was about a millisecond away from being sick. With the 10th swallow I spluttered and renched forward surprising the students around me. One of the, a girl I've known since primary school, giggled nervously and asked if I had fallen asleep so I just told her straight that I was about to be sick. The shock on both her and her friend's faces disturbed me slightly so I concentrated on breathing right and trying to get rid of the feeling in my throat. I apologised profusely as if I had been in their position I know I would also feel exactly as they were feeling. I managed to gain control of the sick feeling and calmed down slightly until I realised that not only was I feeling ill now but I was also feeling that awful crushing feeling of fear and panic. I hadn't been sick in seven years and the thought of throwing up in public truly terrified me. Great, just what I need, another fear.

Somehow I managed to keep myself from begin sick and crashed into bed as soon as I got into my room. My mum, who before this scene had never had to deal with my being thing dehydrated as I am usually in Shoreham when it happens, was slightly flustered when I streaked up into my room refusing the cup of tea and her reassuring hug invite. Instead she tucked me in bed, shoved my empty bin next to my bed and told me she'd check on me later. I woke up 4 hours late not exactly well but better then I had been with my cat at the end of my bed playing doctor. She always does when some body's ill, she'll sit with them and be all affectionate until they're better again. I'm so happy I wasn't sick, you have no idea.

Thursday
After my sunstroke epidemic on Wednesday I was determined not to dehydrate today. Just like I did in the day of Pokesdown Primary, I even froze a bottle of water the night before to ensure I had a cold drink with me throughout the day.

Now, on Tuesday just before the photographer had appeared, we had all agreed to meet at the beach on Thursday at "12 ish" as my friend had said. Thinking this was still the case I strolled down to the beach and got there bang on 12. Seeing as nobody else was there yet (no surprise) I waited a few minutes before texting a friend asking if we were meeting at 12 or 1. Her reply was that "it was 1 I thought". Not impressed was my immediate reaction to say the least. So I waited on the pier for an hour, refusing to make that embarrassing turnaround journey back to my house when there was no point. When everyone finally got their little bottoms down to the beach we set up camp near the pier and a few of us headed tot the sea.

Now the beach that we were at happens to be the place where they are building an artificial reef for the surfers. This reef is said to increase the about of weaver fish in the area as predators etc. can't get in. Add this to the fact that those pesky little fish are supposed to be around the pier more then anywhere else and you have yourself a death trap. For as long as I can remember knowing about weaver fish I imagined the pain of being stung by one incredibly painful and almost cry-worthy. This was not the case however. All I felt was a sharp stinging pain in between my toes. Thinking I had something caught in there I looked at my foot and found nothing but a small pin-prick sized dot. At this was it I thought I'd just grazed myself on a stone. But when the pain wouldn't go away I asked my friend who was in the sea with me plus two others what it felt like to be stung by a weaver fish. "Sort of like a stinging and aching feeling" was her description which was exactly what I was feeling in my foot. I ignored it for a while thinking that noway had I been stung, it didn't hurt enough but about a couple of minutes my friend persuaded me to go the the lifeguard hut to get them to check it out. After a quick examination and question about how my foot felt he decided that I probably had been stung and told me to put my foot in the bowl of boiling water. As I was quite used to having baking hot baths the heat didn't bother me. What did bother me however was the funny looks I was receiving from the group of guy a little way from the lifeguard hut who were looking at me quizzically. After 25 minutes the pain stopped and the lifeguard told me I was okay to go again. Looking down at my feet however, I saw that I had one very pale foot and one very red one - not a good look. The pain was gone though so that's all I really cared about.

So from my three little experiences I can conclude three things:

1. Swimming in the sea when it's raining is not completely pointless and is a very fun activity if not a little cold.
2. The feeling of not caring what so ever about what other people think of you is actually really difficult to achieve and I only manage to when I am feeling so ill that all I can really think about is not being sick and that once you reach that stage of not caring it's a very relaxing feeling.
3. Weaver fish do not hurt nearly as much as you would think and there's nothing to worry about if you're thinking of going into the sea this summer.

I hope your week as been as fun as mine has. And yes, the past three days have not always been pleasant but I have felt quite happy throughout all of them so that's a good sign.

I wish my comment button worked.

Calm Down, Deep Breath, And Get Yourself Dressed Instead

Have you ever had a dream come true and it not being nearly as fantastic as you hoped? That happened yesterday and I'm quite crushed today because of it.

You see, my dream was quite a basic and very girly one. I dreamt that as I turned to leave wherever I had been to go home, a guy that I like would happen to want to walk the same way as me and would walk me home blah blah blah you get the idea.

Things didn't go according to plan last night though. The guy that ran and caught up with me was not who I imagined it would be and I certainly do not like them in that way. Sure, he's a friend but that's as far as it goes. The conversation was alright but it wasn't amazing, I don't understand half of it, I just let him talk and I just nodded along. He didn't exactly walk me home but to a few street over and then realised he had to go back the other way.

Am I being selfish? Should I be happy that someone was kind enough to walk me back sort of when it was dark? Or am I allowed to be a little downhearted that my daydream didn't go exactly how I had hoped? I am grateful that someone was there to walk me part way home, it was very kind of them. But is it my fault that they aren't the person I hoped it would be?

And now because that daydream has been half done, I doubt it will happen again. That dream won't come true if you get what I mean. Perhaps it's time I realise that not everyone's dreams happen and that I should be happy that at least mine sort of did. Or perhaps I should focus on another daydream? Or will that one blow up just like the one before? I'm so disappointed.

I'll move on, Jacko died. It's sad but I'm not that upset. Sure he's a legend and his music is so influential but I wasn't exactly the biggest fan. Saying this, I think MJ jokes shouldn't be told for at least a month or two. It's just disrespectful.

Well done Sammykins, you got the cryptic - but can you work out the numbers? Would if help if I told you they had something to do with the book itself, not the story?

Oh What A Beutiful Mess This Is

I have a cryptic post for you today and seeing as I know only one person reads my blog it is probably a little pointless but that's all I've got to say on that matter.

Can you guess I watched Forrest Gump for the first time yesterday?

Anyway, back to the blog. I've made another list. You'll probably be able to guess that it's to do with a certain series of books. If you don't guess which series that you've been living in a hole in the middle of the mountains of Zoozoo.

And now for the list:

• 52, Hedwig
• 69, Mad-Eye Moody
• 356, Ted Tonks
• 381, Wormtail
• 385, Dobby
• 510, Crabbe
• 512, Fred
• 528, Snape
• 531, Tonk + Lupin
• 556, Colin Creevey
• 564, Harry
• 590, Bellatrix
• 596, Tome Riddle

There are more but those are the ones that I recorded. Now what I want to know is what you think this list is all about. You have three guesses, if you don't guess correctly then you will never know, will you?

Unless someone tell you later...

That Future Boom Boom Boom

Usually I don't connect too much with Glamour magazine. I buy it to see the types of things that will worry me in the future, the gaze at the beauty of the models in the adverts and to surf through the items of clothing that I will never to able to afford. However, this issue is slightly different; maybe because it is the 100th episode, I don't know.

In the issue, page 114, Bryony Gordon wrote an article about why she's happy to be single and why it bothers her when people ask "Why are you single?" seeing as she's 28 and does not have a significant other. Now, people I started reading the article I was feeling very gloomy about one hundred and more things - singledom being one of them. But now that I've read her reason for being happy and single, I've cheered up immensely. True, I'd still love to have someone there to (as Sammy explains) make me feel wanted and loved but for now I think I'll be okay just cruising alone.

Bryony make a list of ten things why she was happy to be single and I've decided to do one myself (it seems to me that my blog is becoming more about lists then anything else nowadays).

1. If I happened to meet Rupert Grint or Anton Yelchin randomly on the street, I would be single, as would they.
2. I can look my absolute worst without the fear of someone seeing me.
3. I can watch whatever I want and not be mocked.
4. I don't have to meet expectations of anyone.
5. I can make time for friends.
6. I don't have to put up with him annoying friends.
7. There's no chance of me being with the wrong person.
8. I can eat whatever I like and not have to constantly be swallowing mints.
9. I can still look at whoever I wish without anyone getting jealous.
10. I don't have to put up with any nonsense.

Nonsense is a very "old-fashioned" word but I think it suits the topic some how.

So yes, that's my list. I'm feeling better about being single now. People with partners can say what ever they like, I know I'm happy and if they can't accept it then they just go away. :)

I Missed Your Skin When You Were East

So now I have all this free time and nothing to do. I understand now when someone asked me "What can I do now?" because I'm in the exact same situation. Not everyone has finished their exams yet so some people will still be revising. I've made a list of things I want to do this summer but they're sort of long term things or things that already have a set date. I don't know if I've already shared them with you so I'll tell you again. :)

1. Laugh until I cry
2. Go outside everyday
3. Get a tan
4. Meet someone new
5. Finish 2 books
6. Get in shape
7. Pass my exams
8. Do the RFL
9. Go to prom
10. Go on a picnic
11. Stay on the beach until it gets dark
12. Swim in the sea at night
13. Go shopping in Brighton with a group of friends
14. Taste kiwi

And that's all I've got so far. I'm sure I've already shown you this list so sorry if I'm repeating myself. I've already done two of them which is good seeing as my "proper summer" only started today.

There's so much stuff I want to do though. I want to do something everyday and have fun with whatever I'm doing. I know I have the beach nearly every Friday with "The Beach Group". We should have our own little group name, like the "Beachies" or something. Maybe I'll start calling people that and see if it catches on.

So many people have suddenly found partners (well, three anyway...). There's Devan who I said about before with Peter who I get to meet on Friday - as does she. It confuses me a little at how she's going out with him even though she's never met him. I asked her yesterday what she would do if he was only 4 foot tall. She didn't reply. :D But I suppose if she's happy, I'm happy. ^.^

The second one is Zanna and Dom. What started at a one night stand now seems to have moved onto something a little more. Although I'm not sure if they are "officially" going out or just a little casual thing but whatever. She's got someone which is good. I thought it was hilarious at the beach the other day though, the whole thing was so awkward for both of them. Ha! Oh well.

And finally there's Alex and C. I don't know his real name but Alex has 'C' in her msn name sooo, I'm guessing that's what he goes by. I think it's lovely how they hooked up. Well, not hooked up but you know what I mean. It was at the beach of Friday and apparently they walked away together. She was showering her with compliments and he asked her out just like that. They'd only known each other for a few hours but they seem very in to each other. They're quite similar too with the whole surfer/beach chic thing going on. Awh.

Do you think perhaps your dreams can come true for someone else, even if they've never had that dream? It's a little confusing. What I mean is that had a daydream about someone asking me out the same way C asked out Alex. So maybe my little daydream came true for Alex? If so I'm going to keep daydreaming and hopefully people I care about will have a happy summer.

Hurry Up Before I Change My Mind

If you could have anything, what would you have? Would you have items? Or feelings? Or people? Or wishes? Personally, I'd have moments. I'd steal moments that people have caught. I'd take them for myself, be selfish, pretend I was there. Would you like me to share a few?

I have more, but that's all my blog will allow me to have. Even the Internet is stopping me from dreaming now, what a disgrace.