Happy new year. Happy birthday. I made 3 millions nps. I've had my dog for exactly a year. Fabulous things that aren't worth talking about.
If my calculations are correct, and I believe they are, if we go to university straight after college we may be moving out of our homes next year. Next year. It's so close. I've already learnt from last year that the final two years of anything go incredibly fast. I still feel like I'm in year 10, I haven't moved on from there yet. I'm eating the same food, wearing the same clothes, have the same hair, mostly the same friends with a few added extras, still hanging around with the same people. Everything is all the same but I'm quite happy with it at the moment.
So I said I wouldn't talk about new year but what about new years resolutions? I'm getting a six-pack this year. It's been decided. Although I have no idea how I'm going to do it. I've got to finish this damn film studies essay first but I've lost the sheets.
I love how excuses can be formed from the simplest of things. ♥
3 January 2010
29 December 2009
Do Not Read Beauty Magazines...
...they will only make you feel ugly. Difficult though isn't it? How else will we know how to fit in?
I've only got two days left of being sixteen and I've had such an amazing year of it. So my birthday last year, it wasn't the greatest, it wasn't the worst. It was quite and small and I liked it I suppose. This year I've done so many things. Well maybe not loads but more than I imagined I would.
I finished school.
I passed my exams.
I met new people.
I made new friends.
I started college.
I went to a premiere.
I met Aled, Annie and Grimmy.
I spent far too much time down the beach.
I grew to love more people.
I changed ever so slightly.
I said goodbye to a lot of people.
I got a dog.
I redecorated.
I decided what I want to be like.
I went through a lot of glue.
I cried over laughable things.
I laughed about the upsetting.
I broke habits.
I began adjusting.
I grew.
I learnt to appreciate.
And I missed a lot of people.
A good year for me which I will miss very very much. I hope 17 is going to be just as lovely; if not better. Even if my birthday is crappy.
I've only got two days left of being sixteen and I've had such an amazing year of it. So my birthday last year, it wasn't the greatest, it wasn't the worst. It was quite and small and I liked it I suppose. This year I've done so many things. Well maybe not loads but more than I imagined I would.
I finished school.
I passed my exams.
I met new people.
I made new friends.
I started college.
I went to a premiere.
I met Aled, Annie and Grimmy.
I spent far too much time down the beach.
I grew to love more people.
I changed ever so slightly.
I said goodbye to a lot of people.
I got a dog.
I redecorated.
I decided what I want to be like.
I went through a lot of glue.
I cried over laughable things.
I laughed about the upsetting.
I broke habits.
I began adjusting.
I grew.
I learnt to appreciate.
And I missed a lot of people.
A good year for me which I will miss very very much. I hope 17 is going to be just as lovely; if not better. Even if my birthday is crappy.
20 December 2009
Dear Mum.
You just said that you don't like seeing me hurt. You said you hate seeing me thing upset. You said you haven't seen me this upset in years. But what if you're the reason that I'm hurt? What if you're why I'm upset? What if you're the whole reason for everything. Everything I've been hiding from you. Everything I've kept locked up and hidden away from your prying eyes? Because I'll tell you, you are the reason and the sole purpose for me crying right now. You're why I hide so much from everyone I meet. You're why I can't tell you why or what or when or how.
It's not that I don't trust you or love you because I do. I trust you. And I love you. Very much. But that doesn't mean I want to tell you everything. I don't tell you because I love you. I don't want to hurt you just like you don't want to hurt me. That's why it's so difficult to tell you these things when the time comes simply because I love you and I trust you and I would hate to see you in any kind of pain.
I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry for the emotions I feeling. For the words that I've said and the many more that are to come. I'm not sorry at all for anything I'm going to do. And I'm not sorry for the fact that I don't want to talk tonight. I just want you to leave me alone for now. Let me sort this out the way I always sort it out. Let me toss and turn and cry and hurt as much as I can because then I know I won't be so hurtful to you. I would have inflicted it all onto myself rather than hurt you in any way.
I'm sorry I'm so much like you and I hate it. I know I'm going to be exactly the same as you and in some ways I already am. I don't drink or do drugs or lose control because I know I'm going o be exactly like you if I do and I hate it. I hate it. Hate hate hate it. I wish I wasn't so much like you. I wish I was my own person and could grow up not knowing what was to come but I can't. I will always be like you. I can't stop or change this no matter how much I wish I could. You have no idea how much I wish I could change this but I can't. I'm trying to learn to live with it but it's hard. It's hard knowing what I'm going to be like. Hard knowing that one day I will be in the exact same position that you are in tonight. I don't want to know.
I'm not sorry and I loved you.
It's not that I don't trust you or love you because I do. I trust you. And I love you. Very much. But that doesn't mean I want to tell you everything. I don't tell you because I love you. I don't want to hurt you just like you don't want to hurt me. That's why it's so difficult to tell you these things when the time comes simply because I love you and I trust you and I would hate to see you in any kind of pain.
I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry for the emotions I feeling. For the words that I've said and the many more that are to come. I'm not sorry at all for anything I'm going to do. And I'm not sorry for the fact that I don't want to talk tonight. I just want you to leave me alone for now. Let me sort this out the way I always sort it out. Let me toss and turn and cry and hurt as much as I can because then I know I won't be so hurtful to you. I would have inflicted it all onto myself rather than hurt you in any way.
I'm sorry I'm so much like you and I hate it. I know I'm going to be exactly the same as you and in some ways I already am. I don't drink or do drugs or lose control because I know I'm going o be exactly like you if I do and I hate it. I hate it. Hate hate hate it. I wish I wasn't so much like you. I wish I was my own person and could grow up not knowing what was to come but I can't. I will always be like you. I can't stop or change this no matter how much I wish I could. You have no idea how much I wish I could change this but I can't. I'm trying to learn to live with it but it's hard. It's hard knowing what I'm going to be like. Hard knowing that one day I will be in the exact same position that you are in tonight. I don't want to know.
I'm not sorry and I loved you.
15 December 2009
Open Up A Little Happiness Today.
I've figured that at some point in either the near or distant future I'd quite like to give speed dating a go. It seems quite the 'hip' thing to do at the moment; according to Rev Run's two daughters. I thank MTV for this enlightenment.
Plus, with speed dating you don't get stuck with some random at a bar or where ever talking into your ear with their stinking beer breath about things you don't want to hear. You have an excuse to walk away to a more suitable person and everyone in the room will be in the same position as you. And even if you don't end up finding someone you like, at least you know you won't be the only one - there will always be one other person. Unless of course, everyone gives out their numbers apart from you but then, that it's very likely, is it?
But like I said, I don't exactly plan to do this just yet. I'd like to wait until I'm at least at a suitable age before trying this out.
I'd also quite like to give skydiving a go, just for kicks. And maybe for charity - that way there's no way of getting out of it what with people relying on you to raise money for less fortunate people and all. I just want to have that feeling of euphoria and relief and excitement after landing and see if it's as great as everyone else says it is. And if it takes jumping out a plane at 2500ft then what the hell?
Thinking about it I'd probably have to do it for charity, I think I'd chicken out at the last minute otherwise.
I wonder if I can get to my 100th blog post before the end of 2009? I doubt it but it would be fun to see.
Plus, with speed dating you don't get stuck with some random at a bar or where ever talking into your ear with their stinking beer breath about things you don't want to hear. You have an excuse to walk away to a more suitable person and everyone in the room will be in the same position as you. And even if you don't end up finding someone you like, at least you know you won't be the only one - there will always be one other person. Unless of course, everyone gives out their numbers apart from you but then, that it's very likely, is it?
But like I said, I don't exactly plan to do this just yet. I'd like to wait until I'm at least at a suitable age before trying this out.
I'd also quite like to give skydiving a go, just for kicks. And maybe for charity - that way there's no way of getting out of it what with people relying on you to raise money for less fortunate people and all. I just want to have that feeling of euphoria and relief and excitement after landing and see if it's as great as everyone else says it is. And if it takes jumping out a plane at 2500ft then what the hell?
Thinking about it I'd probably have to do it for charity, I think I'd chicken out at the last minute otherwise.
I wonder if I can get to my 100th blog post before the end of 2009? I doubt it but it would be fun to see.
12 December 2009
It's Time For Us To Take A Chance.
In 7 days my best friend will be 17. In 14 days it'll be Christmas. On the 27th of December I would have had this blog for a year. In 21 days I'll be a whole year older. Numbers numbers numbers. Count count down.
Twenty one. That's almost a month. I've got ages.
But then the winter holidays will be here.
And Christmas will have been.
So I'll have no time at all.
I want a clock for my birthday. An old one that you have to wind up.
And shoelaces. A barbie doll. A packet of tissues. Night nurse. A cup of tea in a proper cup and saucer. A notebook filled with signatures. Albums dedicated to the day. Family and friends. Truths. The moon. A lollipop. More hangers. A good day. Patterns and signs. Books unveiling secrets. A diary that's not mine. Sellotape. Nice wrapping paper. Good health. A rabbit. Feathers. Contact lens. A packet of digestive biscuits. A proper hug. Tissue paper. For my cat to be healthy. Someone new to talk to. A compliment. Handmade birthday cards. A drawing of a person I know. Spoons with the right amount of curve. Badges. A teddy bear. Thrills. A masquerade. A pretty dress. Beautiful people. A haircut. A Christmas jumper complete with reindeer on the front. Class. Hide and seek. Pin the tail on the donkey. A dressing up box. Indie kids. An elephant. Silence. Drums. A banjo player. A new blanket. Gold. Silver. Scarves. Material. A bow tie. A letter. A love.
Twenty one. That's almost a month. I've got ages.
But then the winter holidays will be here.
And Christmas will have been.
So I'll have no time at all.
I want a clock for my birthday. An old one that you have to wind up.
And shoelaces. A barbie doll. A packet of tissues. Night nurse. A cup of tea in a proper cup and saucer. A notebook filled with signatures. Albums dedicated to the day. Family and friends. Truths. The moon. A lollipop. More hangers. A good day. Patterns and signs. Books unveiling secrets. A diary that's not mine. Sellotape. Nice wrapping paper. Good health. A rabbit. Feathers. Contact lens. A packet of digestive biscuits. A proper hug. Tissue paper. For my cat to be healthy. Someone new to talk to. A compliment. Handmade birthday cards. A drawing of a person I know. Spoons with the right amount of curve. Badges. A teddy bear. Thrills. A masquerade. A pretty dress. Beautiful people. A haircut. A Christmas jumper complete with reindeer on the front. Class. Hide and seek. Pin the tail on the donkey. A dressing up box. Indie kids. An elephant. Silence. Drums. A banjo player. A new blanket. Gold. Silver. Scarves. Material. A bow tie. A letter. A love.
10 December 2009
Tripping Eyes And Flooded Lungs.
I'm never too sure how to start something like this without sounding too cliche but then again, I am very so I shouldn't worry.
What's in a world full of people? Well of course there's animals and plants and plastic and wood and glass and outside and inside and curtains and rain and wind and lights and coffee and misspellings and handwriting and clouds and behaviour and attitudes and bi-polar. But what's in everyone's individual worlds?
My world seems to be made up entirely of other peoples. I laugh because of you, I cry because of you, I sing because of you, I imagine because of you, I change and shape because of you. I could list forever the things that make me because of you but the question still stands; what's individual? I've given up trying by now. It take far too much time to think about.
So what about you? Are you make up completely of what you think is individual about yourself or are you made up of other people's ideas and impressions? And are you helping to mould and create other people's world as yours is shaped also? Do your reactions stay individual or could they also be changed because of the people around you?
I'm sixteen. I'm not excited for my birthday. I think I'm meaningful. I know I'm not. I've been influenced and pushed by you all my life. I speak in this accent because of you. I laugh this way because of you. I smell the glue on my hand because of you. I can't taste because of you. I'm sick because of you.
I want college back and I want a project. I need my taste buds back and I need to be better. I have to finish what I started and I have to tell you something.
What's in a world full of people? Well of course there's animals and plants and plastic and wood and glass and outside and inside and curtains and rain and wind and lights and coffee and misspellings and handwriting and clouds and behaviour and attitudes and bi-polar. But what's in everyone's individual worlds?
My world seems to be made up entirely of other peoples. I laugh because of you, I cry because of you, I sing because of you, I imagine because of you, I change and shape because of you. I could list forever the things that make me because of you but the question still stands; what's individual? I've given up trying by now. It take far too much time to think about.
So what about you? Are you make up completely of what you think is individual about yourself or are you made up of other people's ideas and impressions? And are you helping to mould and create other people's world as yours is shaped also? Do your reactions stay individual or could they also be changed because of the people around you?
I'm sixteen. I'm not excited for my birthday. I think I'm meaningful. I know I'm not. I've been influenced and pushed by you all my life. I speak in this accent because of you. I laugh this way because of you. I smell the glue on my hand because of you. I can't taste because of you. I'm sick because of you.
I want college back and I want a project. I need my taste buds back and I need to be better. I have to finish what I started and I have to tell you something.
22 November 2009
Does The Pain Weigh Out The Pride?
I've had enough of walls and windows and cameras and numbers and notes and money and that crushing feeling of disappointment. I no longer yearn for the feeling of acceptance and I never want to rise to your expectations again. I want you to leave me alone. Accept that I'm not going to be like the person you like the most. I'm not that person who you knew 4 years ago. Let me be. Relish in the fact that I can do these things without it bothering me. Why should it worry you if you're not the one acting out these dramas?
Take a step back and allow me to run wild through the paths of your beautiful mind. Let me twist you and change you and shape you; just like you shaped me. Be open to the fact I'm moving on. I've had enough. I need something new. Go your own way if you must. Make sure you hold your own and everything will be fine. Stay strong. I'm not going to do everything.
Let me make my mistakes. Let me cry, let me laugh, let me watch, let me shut it out. I'm not like you were. You never experienced this. You stepped up to the line but I want to go running over it. I feel like you're holding me at my waist and wrestling me back whilst I kick and scream and plead for you to let me go.
I want to run. Run as far as I can. Cut that corner. Take that jump. Pretend I didn't hear you when you call my name. I want to dance under the stars with that one I dreamt about. I want to walk barefoot around the streets; feeling the hard pavement and the sharp, sharp glass. I want to smile with you and know that everything is going to be alright. I want to see you seeing me pushing the borders you told me not to push. I want to shock and surprise and make you angry. I want to make sure you hear me nice and clear.
Let's pretend for a minute that I didn't care. Let's pretend you were calm and didn't mind. That you looked at me like I was safe no matter what happened. What would you say then? How would your react? What would happen after? When all this is over? What if I had a list and you read it and said "Let's go"? Would I be okay with that? Would I be comfortable knowing what you knew? What would I say? Would I smile and laugh? Would you be proud of me when it was all over? Would you have had enough? Or would you make the list longer? As long as it could possibly be?
Truth be told, I'm jealous of you. Jealous that you've already had your chance. Jealous you've made your choices. Jealous you're happy with them and can stop thinking about them. Jealous of the endless amounts of possibilities you're left with. Jealous you know how I'll feel, what I'll think. Jealous you can tell me these things without thinking about what I'll think next. I'm jealous of you. Of everything thing about you.
And yet I don't want to be like you. I don't what to be like you are. I want to be the reverse of you. Someone different and opposite and myself. I can't stop thinking about how you act. I can't stop telling myself that I'm looking at exactly how I'll be soon. I can't stop thinking that the feelings I'm feeling will be the same as everyone else's when the time comes for me to change, morph, grow into you.
I can't stop thinking that I'm the only one to blame for this. I should have realised when I could have. Stopped myself before my chance was gone. Allowed myself to change before you changed me like you did.
I've had enough. I'm safe without you. I need you but not that close. I want to you show me how I can be without becoming that person yourself. I want you to see that I'm not going to be like this for much longer. I want to tell you. Whisper it to you so I can't see your reaction. Set you clues. Let you believe what you want to believe. Maybe you'll believe something different? Maybe you'll understand and blame it on something else? Maybe you'll just accept it and move on? Maybe you'll change too to fit with what's going to happen?
Or maybe you won't.
Take a step back and allow me to run wild through the paths of your beautiful mind. Let me twist you and change you and shape you; just like you shaped me. Be open to the fact I'm moving on. I've had enough. I need something new. Go your own way if you must. Make sure you hold your own and everything will be fine. Stay strong. I'm not going to do everything.
Let me make my mistakes. Let me cry, let me laugh, let me watch, let me shut it out. I'm not like you were. You never experienced this. You stepped up to the line but I want to go running over it. I feel like you're holding me at my waist and wrestling me back whilst I kick and scream and plead for you to let me go.
I want to run. Run as far as I can. Cut that corner. Take that jump. Pretend I didn't hear you when you call my name. I want to dance under the stars with that one I dreamt about. I want to walk barefoot around the streets; feeling the hard pavement and the sharp, sharp glass. I want to smile with you and know that everything is going to be alright. I want to see you seeing me pushing the borders you told me not to push. I want to shock and surprise and make you angry. I want to make sure you hear me nice and clear.
Let's pretend for a minute that I didn't care. Let's pretend you were calm and didn't mind. That you looked at me like I was safe no matter what happened. What would you say then? How would your react? What would happen after? When all this is over? What if I had a list and you read it and said "Let's go"? Would I be okay with that? Would I be comfortable knowing what you knew? What would I say? Would I smile and laugh? Would you be proud of me when it was all over? Would you have had enough? Or would you make the list longer? As long as it could possibly be?
Truth be told, I'm jealous of you. Jealous that you've already had your chance. Jealous you've made your choices. Jealous you're happy with them and can stop thinking about them. Jealous of the endless amounts of possibilities you're left with. Jealous you know how I'll feel, what I'll think. Jealous you can tell me these things without thinking about what I'll think next. I'm jealous of you. Of everything thing about you.
And yet I don't want to be like you. I don't what to be like you are. I want to be the reverse of you. Someone different and opposite and myself. I can't stop thinking about how you act. I can't stop telling myself that I'm looking at exactly how I'll be soon. I can't stop thinking that the feelings I'm feeling will be the same as everyone else's when the time comes for me to change, morph, grow into you.
I can't stop thinking that I'm the only one to blame for this. I should have realised when I could have. Stopped myself before my chance was gone. Allowed myself to change before you changed me like you did.
I've had enough. I'm safe without you. I need you but not that close. I want to you show me how I can be without becoming that person yourself. I want you to see that I'm not going to be like this for much longer. I want to tell you. Whisper it to you so I can't see your reaction. Set you clues. Let you believe what you want to believe. Maybe you'll believe something different? Maybe you'll understand and blame it on something else? Maybe you'll just accept it and move on? Maybe you'll change too to fit with what's going to happen?
Or maybe you won't.
19 November 2009
Loves Songs So Genuinely Cunning.
The past few days I seem to have been walking around in some kind of haze, catching snippets of other people's conversations whilst I try to focus on what's going on that directly affects me. Other people's conversations are so interesting; I found myself thinking that everyone else has much more interesting conversations than I seem to have. Not to say that the conversations I have are uninteresting - just that other people's are slightly more interesting.
Take for example one conversation I heard on the train - well, it may have been two, they sort of got mixed as I was concentrating on what someone was saying to me at the time. The people on the train, or one group of people, were talking about 2D and 3D shapes whilst another group of people were talking about people they know and how they seem to despise their very own friends. So that got me thinking about if you could get 2D and 3D people. Or rather, 2D and 3D personalities and beings because obviously everyone's 3D. But back to my point. What if everyone that are usually classed as 'shallow' or uninteresting' or just 'close-minded' were actually 2D? They have no volume to them; no interesting aspects. Squares maybe? I guess that may have been where that phase came from. There is nothing interesting about 2D people - they have sides and corners and that's about it. Nothing supporting them. Nothing that could ever amount to anything.
And then you have your 3D people. People who have volume and are interesting and are supported by their views. Or rather, they can support their views themselves. They're open-minded and have fun and are just all-round interesting people.
So what about the people who are bit of both? Some days they're interesting and sophisticated and fit in and are social but on other day's they're shallow and cold and unmotivated. I think most people would fit in this category as everyone has their ups and downs. But then we have this problem that there's nothing really between 2D and 3D. 2 and a half D? But that isn't really rolling-off-the-tongue very smoothing. It can't possible be 4D as that's above the 3D people; nor can it be 1D as that just don't make sense. So any suggestions?
"I blame you for what happened to Josh" was the next thing I heard in passing. I wonder who Josh is? And more importantly what happened to him? It'll be a headliner for the gossip mags I bet.
And you know what? I'm really sick of people who lie constantly. Again, on the train, I could hear this boy going on and on about his martial arts and how you could kill someone with it and how he was only an orange belt (which coincidentally matches his hair colour) but by the time he's a black belt he'll be able to use all the knifes and kill people with his amazing skills. Seriously, shut up. Martial arts is all about self-defence, not killing people. And no way would your teachers let you anywhere near a knife you poor, pathetic boy. Your compulsive lying has caused the truth to expand just a little too much. You don't count anymore. And I'm not sorry.
Poutle is such an amazing word. Thank you for introducing it too me.
Take for example one conversation I heard on the train - well, it may have been two, they sort of got mixed as I was concentrating on what someone was saying to me at the time. The people on the train, or one group of people, were talking about 2D and 3D shapes whilst another group of people were talking about people they know and how they seem to despise their very own friends. So that got me thinking about if you could get 2D and 3D people. Or rather, 2D and 3D personalities and beings because obviously everyone's 3D. But back to my point. What if everyone that are usually classed as 'shallow' or uninteresting' or just 'close-minded' were actually 2D? They have no volume to them; no interesting aspects. Squares maybe? I guess that may have been where that phase came from. There is nothing interesting about 2D people - they have sides and corners and that's about it. Nothing supporting them. Nothing that could ever amount to anything.
And then you have your 3D people. People who have volume and are interesting and are supported by their views. Or rather, they can support their views themselves. They're open-minded and have fun and are just all-round interesting people.
So what about the people who are bit of both? Some days they're interesting and sophisticated and fit in and are social but on other day's they're shallow and cold and unmotivated. I think most people would fit in this category as everyone has their ups and downs. But then we have this problem that there's nothing really between 2D and 3D. 2 and a half D? But that isn't really rolling-off-the-tongue very smoothing. It can't possible be 4D as that's above the 3D people; nor can it be 1D as that just don't make sense. So any suggestions?
"I blame you for what happened to Josh" was the next thing I heard in passing. I wonder who Josh is? And more importantly what happened to him? It'll be a headliner for the gossip mags I bet.
And you know what? I'm really sick of people who lie constantly. Again, on the train, I could hear this boy going on and on about his martial arts and how you could kill someone with it and how he was only an orange belt (which coincidentally matches his hair colour) but by the time he's a black belt he'll be able to use all the knifes and kill people with his amazing skills. Seriously, shut up. Martial arts is all about self-defence, not killing people. And no way would your teachers let you anywhere near a knife you poor, pathetic boy. Your compulsive lying has caused the truth to expand just a little too much. You don't count anymore. And I'm not sorry.
Poutle is such an amazing word. Thank you for introducing it too me.
13 November 2009
You're A Cut Above All The Rest.
So we were sat on the train today after power-walking to the station to desperately try and get the early train when we met a lovely young man. Not a lovely young man as in I wish to make this poor boy my lover but rather he was very gentlemanly. He kindly gave up his seat to us explaining how he got off in two stops anyway. It was so kind of him, I absolutely adore people who are generally friendly.
Like the other day, when I was in town buying things, just as I was waiting for the bus it started heaving it down - much like it is right now in fact. Looking round at the people also waiting for the bus I noticed a woman who looked very prim and proper in that sort of "yes, I've made an effort today and I feel good about it" way not a "I'm better than you" way. MY heart went out to her that evening as she sheltered under her soggy umbrella desperately trying to cover he well-groomed head. So when the bus arrived I told her she could go before me simply because I don't mind the rain and she obviously uncomfortable in it. However, instead of taking up my offer she turned and smiled saying "No, no, you were here first." So not only was she looking incredibly lovely in her smart outfit and recently cut hair, she was also amazingly generous.
I really do appreciate a little kindness now and then. I try to be kind to everyone, to be friendly and helpful. Yet the other day I was told I give off the wring vibes? I was asked if I actually liked one of my friends from college. Jokingly I said no, I hated them with all my heart. So is that what they mean? By sarcasm hurts rather do whatever sarcasm is supposed to do? It's very unnerving when you get told you aren't the one thing you thought you were. I'd just like to apologise to anyone I upset, I really don't mean to, I'm just so used to people accepting the way that I am that I don't think that perhaps I'm upsetting all these new people I'm trying to be friends with.
I really don't want to end on a negative so perhaps a new idea to think about instead? Rather then laughing at that person sitting near you on the bus, or glaring at someone because maybe they're hanging out with the types of people you'd love to be friends with, why not give up your seat to someone? Or compliment someone just because you like what they're wearing or how their hair looks or just because you think they're pretty. It doesn't have to be in a flirty way, it could just be a friendly gesture. A nice "you look really good today" will suffice. It doesn't have to be something ridiculous, just make the effort, go out of your way to make someone else's day just that little bit better. It's easy really when you think about it. There's an endless list of things you could say to someone to cheer them up. Or you could buy them a gift? I'm not talking about Christmas gifts here, I talking about buying them a cup of tea simply because they look cold. Or buying them a flapjack because a few minutes ago they said they were hungry. Or share something? Share your food. Share your coat. Share your umbrella. It's all worth it in the end, right?
Alex I'm so proud of you. Don't worry about your exam, you'll be fine. ♥
Like the other day, when I was in town buying things, just as I was waiting for the bus it started heaving it down - much like it is right now in fact. Looking round at the people also waiting for the bus I noticed a woman who looked very prim and proper in that sort of "yes, I've made an effort today and I feel good about it" way not a "I'm better than you" way. MY heart went out to her that evening as she sheltered under her soggy umbrella desperately trying to cover he well-groomed head. So when the bus arrived I told her she could go before me simply because I don't mind the rain and she obviously uncomfortable in it. However, instead of taking up my offer she turned and smiled saying "No, no, you were here first." So not only was she looking incredibly lovely in her smart outfit and recently cut hair, she was also amazingly generous.
I really do appreciate a little kindness now and then. I try to be kind to everyone, to be friendly and helpful. Yet the other day I was told I give off the wring vibes? I was asked if I actually liked one of my friends from college. Jokingly I said no, I hated them with all my heart. So is that what they mean? By sarcasm hurts rather do whatever sarcasm is supposed to do? It's very unnerving when you get told you aren't the one thing you thought you were. I'd just like to apologise to anyone I upset, I really don't mean to, I'm just so used to people accepting the way that I am that I don't think that perhaps I'm upsetting all these new people I'm trying to be friends with.
I really don't want to end on a negative so perhaps a new idea to think about instead? Rather then laughing at that person sitting near you on the bus, or glaring at someone because maybe they're hanging out with the types of people you'd love to be friends with, why not give up your seat to someone? Or compliment someone just because you like what they're wearing or how their hair looks or just because you think they're pretty. It doesn't have to be in a flirty way, it could just be a friendly gesture. A nice "you look really good today" will suffice. It doesn't have to be something ridiculous, just make the effort, go out of your way to make someone else's day just that little bit better. It's easy really when you think about it. There's an endless list of things you could say to someone to cheer them up. Or you could buy them a gift? I'm not talking about Christmas gifts here, I talking about buying them a cup of tea simply because they look cold. Or buying them a flapjack because a few minutes ago they said they were hungry. Or share something? Share your food. Share your coat. Share your umbrella. It's all worth it in the end, right?
Alex I'm so proud of you. Don't worry about your exam, you'll be fine. ♥
8 November 2009
Can You Help Me Find A Way To Carry On Again?
I've had enough of this graphics coursework. It's due in on Wednesday but I know if I don't do it now I won't do it at all. And then there's my photography that I'm ridiculously behind in. I just need a whole week of nothing to catch up on everything. The thing is, the next time I'll get a chance is the Christmas holidays but by then everything is due in and over with. Oh what am I do to?
A
I'm desperately trying to find a way to distract myself away from the pain that is my coursework.
At home currently seeing as it's a Sunday and hibernation day.
Older than most people in my year group.
B
Marks and Spencer's? Food mostly. But it tends to give me stomach aches. "Sad smiley".
Anyone who's had to have an all-body x-ray, people able to stand up for others as well as themselves, anyone willing to go skinny-dipping.
I hate questions like this. I'd rather red heads. :)
C
Any with bad lyrics.
Ahaa, I doubt it you smoker. :)
I could I think. I think I could. I could if I tried. I'd try it I could.
D
Drawing, I fail at painting.
Yes. Ohhh yess.
-_- Sexually suggestive questions do not amuse me at the moment.
E
No no no no.
No. Just no.
I've only seen the first Saw film and hid from the part with the foot-sawing. And I've only part seen the Exorcist with dearest Ally Wally making jokes throughout so neither for me?
F
Flowers, they last longer.
Funnel Cake every time.
Not yet. ^_^
G
Both are lovely.
That all depends on what is being shown.
Nope. But I need to now so thanks.
H
Neither. Ever.
Cows. Horses terrify me.
I wouldn't know.
I
I don't really believe in that kind of thing. I'm more of a it-depends-on-what-you-believe-in kind of person. so if he believed in heaven then maybe. If he believed in reincarnation then maybe not.
I'm inside at the moment but would like to be outside.
Neither. Coffee would be flushed down the toilet.
J
I have no idea. Tiger? Just because I don't know who Jordan Woods is?
Does it make a difference? Really?
St. Patrick's Day.
K
Neither.
Spitting or kicking? I'll go with the kicking.
Ketchup but very rarely.
L
I wouldn't know, I've only been legal for a year.
I don't play the lottery.
Are they not the same thing?
M
I love October simply because the weather is nice.
Toast? If that counts.
Year 10 & 11 days at the moment.
N
Admit to someone how I felt about them.
Night OWL! Just because owls are ♥
Your coursework is still incomplete.
O
Yes?
My gran :)
Will you find the world's largest elastic band ball.
P
Never. I'm healthy y'see.
Sixteen Candles but only because it reminds me of the Fall Out Boy song. I've never seen either of the films...and I call myself a film studies student...
Q
Yes. Same.
Nothing. I've never quit.
Depends what we're talking about here.
R
Roadtrip please.
"Bless you dearest child, may your lurgy be cured."
Right handed.
S
A bit of both please. Sitting all day makes your bum flat. Standing all day just hurts.
Petrol, sweat, rotting pumpkins.
I've only tried sushi once so...
T
Monday tomorrow, I get to have fun with camera's in media.
Ellen. :)
A Sunday, hibernation day, stress over coursework day.
U
A load of pillows, blankets, duvets and plushies.
Topshop I suppose? Awh, that reminds me of the Mighty Boosh with the cavemen and their ties. "Topshop!"
Badly.
V
Iron sometimes? But that's not really a vitamin...
A lot of things. See the previous entry.
Cervical cancer, TB, menigitus, others maybe?
W
My bank account.
Hot straightners, hairspray and heeled shoes.
Pancakes. I can eat hundreds of them.
X
One for my foot, one for my chest.
Ahaa, I wouldn't exactly class him as a 'lover'.
Extra*, you cheated.
Y
Nineteen ninety two.
If I had a yard, I would have a sale on it.
Both? Togther.
Z
London and does Longleat count? It's more of a safari park I suppose.
I have no idea who these people are and I'm too lazy to look them up.
Easy to get rid of them but should not be squeezed, that's vile. Just wash your face everyday and use teatree and witch-hazel should any make an appearence.
I really do dispise coursework. Especially seeing as it's taken me roughly 2 hours to do just the background, title and to back my images onto card. Not fun.
A
I'm desperately trying to find a way to distract myself away from the pain that is my coursework.
At home currently seeing as it's a Sunday and hibernation day.
Older than most people in my year group.
Marks and Spencer's? Food mostly. But it tends to give me stomach aches. "Sad smiley".
Anyone who's had to have an all-body x-ray, people able to stand up for others as well as themselves, anyone willing to go skinny-dipping.
I hate questions like this. I'd rather red heads. :)
Any with bad lyrics.
Ahaa, I doubt it you smoker. :)
I could I think. I think I could. I could if I tried. I'd try it I could.
Drawing, I fail at painting.
Yes. Ohhh yess.
-_- Sexually suggestive questions do not amuse me at the moment.
No no no no.
No. Just no.
I've only seen the first Saw film and hid from the part with the foot-sawing. And I've only part seen the Exorcist with dearest Ally Wally making jokes throughout so neither for me?
Flowers, they last longer.
Funnel Cake every time.
Not yet. ^_^
Both are lovely.
That all depends on what is being shown.
Nope. But I need to now so thanks.
Neither. Ever.
Cows. Horses terrify me.
I wouldn't know.
I don't really believe in that kind of thing. I'm more of a it-depends-on-what-you-believe-in kind of person. so if he believed in heaven then maybe. If he believed in reincarnation then maybe not.
I'm inside at the moment but would like to be outside.
Neither. Coffee would be flushed down the toilet.
I have no idea. Tiger? Just because I don't know who Jordan Woods is?
Does it make a difference? Really?
St. Patrick's Day.
Neither.
Spitting or kicking? I'll go with the kicking.
Ketchup but very rarely.
I wouldn't know, I've only been legal for a year.
I don't play the lottery.
Are they not the same thing?
I love October simply because the weather is nice.
Toast? If that counts.
Year 10 & 11 days at the moment.
Admit to someone how I felt about them.
Night OWL! Just because owls are ♥
Your coursework is still incomplete.
Yes?
My gran :)
Will you find the world's largest elastic band ball.
Never. I'm healthy y'see.
PAPER or plastic?
Paper.
Paper.
Sixteen Candles but only because it reminds me of the Fall Out Boy song. I've never seen either of the films...and I call myself a film studies student...
Yes. Same.
Nothing. I've never quit.
Depends what we're talking about here.
Roadtrip please.
"Bless you dearest child, may your lurgy be cured."
Right handed.
A bit of both please. Sitting all day makes your bum flat. Standing all day just hurts.
Petrol, sweat, rotting pumpkins.
I've only tried sushi once so...
Monday tomorrow, I get to have fun with camera's in media.
Ellen. :)
A Sunday, hibernation day, stress over coursework day.
A load of pillows, blankets, duvets and plushies.
Topshop I suppose? Awh, that reminds me of the Mighty Boosh with the cavemen and their ties. "Topshop!"
Badly.
Iron sometimes? But that's not really a vitamin...
A lot of things. See the previous entry.
Cervical cancer, TB, menigitus, others maybe?
My bank account.
Hot straightners, hairspray and heeled shoes.
Pancakes. I can eat hundreds of them.
One for my foot, one for my chest.
Ahaa, I wouldn't exactly class him as a 'lover'.
Extra*, you cheated.
Nineteen ninety two.
If I had a yard, I would have a sale on it.
Both? Togther.
London and does Longleat count? It's more of a safari park I suppose.
I have no idea who these people are and I'm too lazy to look them up.
Easy to get rid of them but should not be squeezed, that's vile. Just wash your face everyday and use teatree and witch-hazel should any make an appearence.
I really do dispise coursework. Especially seeing as it's taken me roughly 2 hours to do just the background, title and to back my images onto card. Not fun.
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