How Did it Come to This

My shift button is broken; well, one of them any way. And it happens to be the one I use mostly - annoying, oui.

Moving on, Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I hope you have a beautiful day whatever you do. :) Hopefully it won't be as lonely as mine - I'm not complaining, just stating a fact. For once Val's Day is on a Saturday and guess what I'm doing? Yup, that's right, staying inside all day even though it's a lovely sunny day outside. Ah well. Nevermind!

Hang on, I did do something today. I ordered a Nintendo DS, Pokemon Pearl and Animal Crossing! All paid for with my own money. My first ever 'big' purchase. Yay! I'm so proud!

Wow, this whole shift-button-not-working thing is really quite annoying. I'm so used to pressing it that it puts my typing speed way down. Pah.

Y'know, I don't have a lot to say, I just wanted to wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day. Have a great day!

I Just Can't Look It's Killing Me

I'm going to complain now. Lots. So deal with it.

Does it ever annoy you when you find something really cool and that you love, say for example a book, and you think that no-one else will really read that one book because well, you just don't expect them to. But then jump forward a couple of months and that book is now a film and comes with a million fan girls screaming at the mere sight of one of the characters. Yeah, it's so stupid.

Twilight has been completely ruined for me because of that exact reason. Sure, at first I loved it like any new reader will. But when I read it, it wasn't nearly as popular as it is now. Admittedly, I definitely wasn't the first to read it but definitely one of the older readers. But now, all you get when you mention Twilight is fan girls screaming things like, "OMGBITEMEEDWARDCULLENBITEME!" or "OMGZMRSCULLENANDDON'TYOUFORGETIT". It annoys be so much. When will they calm down? He's fictional. Grow up.

Okay, okay, I'm being a bit of a hypocrite seeing as I am possibly in love with Ron Weasley but I'm not constantly going on about how amazing he is now am I? Yeah, I have a bit of an addiction but I don't exactly get hysterical every second Hazz Pott is mentioned.

So thank you all of you Twilight fan girls. Thank you for ruining a book for me. Thank you for making me despise an amazing story all because of your screaming and childish fascination. Thanks a lot. I really appreciate it.

Let's move on from that depressing topic. It's my mum's birthday today. Happy birthday mum! We're going out tonight to celebrate and whatnot. Oh I love birthdays, they're so happy-making. I feel really guilty though because I made her a really rubbish card. I know, I know, handmade cards are nice and all but when they look like something pulled out of the bin, yeah, not so good. And I already know she'll say she likes it but written over her face will be, "Good grief, what the hell is this?". Hopefully her present will sort of make up for it. I hope.

Speaking of cards, I still need to make my Valentine's Cards. I don't understand how people think Valentine's Day is pointless. Sure, it is commercialised and sometimes over-rated and yeah, you should really show your love to the one you care about the most everyday but it's such a lovely tradition. It gives others an excuse to be all gooey and bubbly just because they can get away with it. It gives you a chance to do something out of the ordinary if you are usually a quite person and want to show how much you care about someone. Honestly, I love Valentine's Day. It's adorable. And no, I've never had a proper Valentine but who cares? You don't need one to be happy on the 14th. Just keep smiley everyone, it's a beautiful day.

Stop, Stall and Make a Name For Yourself

So I finally caved in. I went against all negative things I've been saying about it and finally joined Twitter. How sad am I? I used to think that I didn't want to join it because "everyone joins it". Well, yes, well done woman. But now I've fallen down from that high chair of mine and joined in with everyone. I've never exactly been unique so why start now, eh? Twitter could be fun; I once joined Plurk but it was crappy.

Whoa, I've only been on Twitter for 5 minutes and I've already got 2 followers. A little odd, don't you think? But then again, one is following around 500 others and the other is following over 100 so at least I'm not the only one being stalked.

It's nearly Valentine's Day! In just 6 days the whole world will be loved up. I adore Val's Day, it's so bubbly and happy-making. And to be honest, it really doesn't matter if you don't have another half to share it with, you still have friends right? Sure, it probably is a lot more fun with a partner but hey ho, what cha' gonna do? I really need to start making my cards soon - I'm making a load of my friends, just to show I love them. :)

Speaking of making things, I'm in such a creative mood lately. I bought canvas' and paint yesterday and started painting just because I felt like it. It was lovely! It's really relaxing so long as you know what you want to paint.

Oh! Another thing, I've recently found out the name of the cute Japanese drawings I seem to fall upon whilst browsing dA: kawaii! Go search it, they're adorable. ^.^ Although, I'm not sure how to pronounce it. Is it "Hawaii" but with a "k" or something else? If you know, please enlighten me.

So, I'm going to go paint some more. To sum up, please add me on Twitter and let's chat. :)

Have a lovely rest-of-weekend everyone.

Came To My Show Just To Hear About My Day

In Bournemouth and other sunny, beachy, touristy places we hardly get snow. When we do it's usually really light and never settles. But not this time. We've had snow for two days! And it settled! We even had a snow day today for school - it's crazy! Who'd have thought I'd ever get a snow day?

So what did I do on my first (and possibly only) snow day? Well I played in the snow of course. And okay, it was only out in my back garden with my puppy but still. I made a snowman, he had a lopsided head and dodgy eyes but he was mine. I was invited to go for a snowball fight but...I had to dog sit.

(um) Madam Bipper. says:
Yes, I sat on my dog all day because it was a snow day

Oh how I love deranged conversations on msn.

Hopefully there'll be another day off school tomorrow because of the 'dangerous' roads. I doubt it but it would be good if it was. More time to catch up on sleep and get rid of these unsightly bags under my eyes.

Oh stop complaining woman.

Y'know, I've finally decided how I'm going to change. I'm going to be happier. I'm not going to draw attention to myself by acting all moody. No, instead I'm going to detatch myself from pessimistic people and be more optimistic. Look on the bright side of life. Follow in my fairy godmother's footsteps as it were.

Exercise more too, that's what I need to do. Recently I've been feeling a little...how can I put it..."anorexic"? Meaning I've been eating less then I should in the hope that I'll lose some weight. What I really should have been doing of course is eating healthily and exercising. I do know this, it's just difficult to trick my mind out of the thoughts it's tangled in at the moment. I will eventually but it might take a little time.

Moving on from that horrible topic, did you know that it's mine and Sammy's unbirthday's today? We're going to celebrate soon. Eat cake, drink tea and then pretend we're healthy by eating carrot sticks when we feel like it. Yay for unbirthdays! Happy unbirthday to you too if it happens to be your unbirthday. It most likely is so happy unbirthday to you. Have a wondrous day!

Which for some reason reminds me, I need to make Valentine's cards soon. Yeah, I'm making multiple because I'm a hooker in real life.

No, I'm only kidding! Don't worry! They're for my friends just because I appreciate how much they've done for me over the years.

"Oh sure, your 'friends'."

Don't believe me? Well you don't get one then do you smelly moo.

You Can Only Blame Your Problems On The World For So Long

Isn't it strange how you find you can relate to songs so easily? For example, the song The (Shipped) Gold Standard by Fall Out Boy is the song I find I keep relating my life to. One of the lines is "I want to scream 'I love you' from the top of my lungs, but I'm afraid someone else will hear me." Every time I hear that I can just hear myself saying, "yeah, same."

Ugh. Stop being a girl.

Back to the usual ranting? Okay.
"You can only blame your problems on the world for so long". So basically, I need to stop. It just makes things depressing.

Complete change of topic now. You know what I think should come back into fashion? Words such as 'ace' and 'grand'. They're such brilliant words, why should we leave them to rot? And you know what else, if my blog was as popular as Perez Hilton's or someone of that sort, people would be using ace and grand all over the world as soon as I hit send. It's not going to happen but it's nice to think about how much influence people can have. Then again, I can guarantee that I would abuse the privilege just to get my own way. Watch out world, Bippie's taking over.

Oh stop day dreaming you fool.

Moving on, I have a question for everyone who reads this. If anyone.
If you could go back 10 years to 1999 and talk to yourself, what 10 things would you say to yourself? Now, don't go starting about how time travel is impossible/you can change anything/"Have you not seen Back to the Future!?". Firstly, yes I have seen Back to the Future and I love it, secondly, imagine it's just a warning not something to change the rest of your life. Kind of...

Want to know my 10 things?

1. Don't give up the violin, you'll just regret it.
2. The summer of 2006 is going to be very difficult for you but don't give up, you'll become a stronger person because of it.
3. You're not emo, get over yourself.
4. Stop biting your nails!
5. You will get more confident, don't worry.
6. Learn to read tabs so when you start to learn ukulele it'll be easier.
7. Don't get too upset about Busted breaking up. Yes it's sad but don't cry; you'll still have McFly.
8. Look after your skin, spots suck you just don't know it yet.
9. What ever you do, do not get your hair cut into a bob. It makes your face look fat and really doesn't suit you, no matter what your friends say.
10. Don't give away your Pokemon cards in year 4, again you'll just end up regretting it.

So what are your ten things? Please comment, I'd love to hear them.

Let's Have Some FUn This Beat Is Sick

So it's official, this blog is just a place that I can vent about stupid teenage things. But hey, I don't care.

I don't care what you think,
As long as it's about me
The best of us can find happiness
In misery

Yeah, Fall Out Boy. I'm rather loving their newish album Folie a Deux. But that's not the reason I'm blogging today.

I'm here to complain, again. Don't you hate it when you try really hard to look half-decent but when you turn up to where you're meeting everyone, they all look so much better then you? This might just be a girl thing seeing as we seem to have that whole "oh my god you're totally wearing the same thing as me" issue but you get what I mean.

Now I'm not saying that it's a crime for everyone to look amazing because let's be honest, it's quite nice to know you're accepted in a group that looks that good. But when you've tried your best to look good and no-one notices, it is a bit of a let down. Especially when there's a camera about and people are snapping photos. Great, not only do you feel like the ugly duckling compared to the people around you but now there's photo evidence of this heinous day.

Am I being incredibly shallow? I know I am. I can tell. I apologise for the "cringe worthy" blogging but this has happened to me so many times that it's hard to keep it in.

You know what else is one of the most awful put-downs ever? When you think of something that to you is quite brilliant but as soon as you tell someone they laugh. Can't they see the greatness behind it? Or when you have a test in school and as your marking it, the teacher tells you that your answer is a "stupid answer, why the hell did you write that?" It's so embarrassing and the way they say it makes you feel about 2mm tall.

Great, now I'm all depressed. How about we think about something more interesting then my pet peeves? How about that fact that I managed to get 3 tops for under £13? Pretty good I'd say.

Ugh, this has been such a girly blog. Let's stop here before I make your eyes bleed.

I Got Troubled Thoughts and the Self-Esteem to Match

Sick days; I hate them. They're so dull but you can't do anything about it as you feel to ill to do anything and can't summon the energy to. It sucks. Even more so when you realise that you have left over homework to do of the maths variety and you can't remember how to do the work. No matter how many times you look back at your old work from earlier lessons, you still don't understand. And then you find out you have double maths the next day. Oh life can be cruel.

I've been feeling so low lately; and not just because I'm not feeling 100%. I seem to have really low self-esteem for no reason at all. I mean, it's not like I have a bad life or anything, I'm not really enjoying it at the moment. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I've become obsessed with changing but can't actually figure out how to. There are a few options I've thought of but have had to cross them off my list as they wouldn't be "suitable". Want me to run through a couple?

1. Dye my hair - a change in my hair colour could suddenly boost some confident and personality out of me. It might propel me into the type of person I want to be and sort everything out. On the other hand, last time I had a colour test I was allergic so I wouldn't even be able to dye it.
2. Lose weight - not a whole load, just a little bit so I would get the type of figure that everyone has on 90210. Personally, I'd love to look like that. Everyone says it's disgusting and no-one should look like that but deep down, I bet they would love to have a body like anyone on that TV show. But, know the people I know, they'll all just get angry at me for even thinking that. Sorry if I don't eat at school by the way, "I don't like eating at school."
3. Change my 'look'. But to do this I would have to buy new clothes, new make-up, new everything. And true that's exactly what I want but sadly, I don't have the money or the guts to revamp myself in such a short time. And I don't think many people would appreciate me changing what I am. They'll think I'm fake and a total loser and nobody want that.

So yeah, basically I'm screwed. I want to change, I really do, but I have no idea how to. I'm so desperate I've even looked on Wiki-How to see what kind of things other people do to change. But to be honest, it wasn't very helpful. Most of the time it was things like "Buy different clothes", "Change your hairstyle" or "See different people". Is it too much to ask to be able to completely change myself without upsetting or losing the people I hang out with?

Perhaps this whole saga goes down to the fact that it's January and a lot of people get what;s called "January Blues". I think it's just that. Oh yay, shoved back into the "toned down and normal" category of life. Isn't it fun!?

My answer: no. Definitely not fun.

Sleeping Through the Day 'Cause I Work All Night

I've finally found out what I'm terrified of; and it's the most stupid thing ever. Losing my Internet connection petrifies me. I couldn't keep up with all the thing I usually do; YouTube, bebo, myspace, blogger, deviant ART. It was awful.

Y'know what's even more sad? It made me realise that I spend my Friday nights on the computer waiting for people to come online. How awful is that? It's certainly no life. But this Friday was slightly different seeing as I had no Internet, instead I did homework. On a Friday night. On my own. But wait for it, not only did I do homework, I also did Graphics coursework! Now that's what you call geek.

Oh look, I managed to turn this blog into yet another complaining post. I'm so British, all I seem to do is complain. REALLY time for a change now. It's shocking.

Oh! News! I'm getting my ears pierced today. I asked my friend to hold my hand seeing as when I got them pierced the first time when I was about 7 I almost passed out. What fun. I think it's a bit silly how I'm getting my ears pierced at sixteen when some people I know are talking about getting tattoos for their birthday or stretching their ears to 16mm or telling tongue piercings. But no, I get my ears pierced at sixteen. Nothing too adventurous for me, I'm not cool enough for that yet.

I really hope I don't throw up or pass out today. That would just ruin my day.

I Cast a Spell Over the West to Make You Think of Me

I haven't had Internet connection for a day and I almost died. Does that make me a bad person or just addicted? Perhaps I need help. Y'know, it's probably just a seasonal thing. Winter can be increasingly boring and so without the Internet there's not a lot to do. It seems nowadays everything revolves around it.

I could have cried today in drama. We were told our grades for our coursework (that I performed on Tuesday) and turns out I got an A*. But what shocked me more was the fact that I got 98%. I never get that high a score. In fact, I think that's the highest grade I've ever got for anything. I'm still in shock. At lunch, I wanted to know what other people got just to make conversation but honestly didn't realise that it would sound boastful when I told them my score. Seriously, I didn't mean to sound as if I was better then anyone, I was just amazed and speechless that I got 98%. Like I said, I never get that.

Something else that happened today was during our mini-lesson that we have during lunch. Year 11 had an assembly about what the next few months were going to be like and Mr Hunt who was taking the assembly began talking about change. The whole way through I found myself agreeing with him. He kept saying things like "You have to change the way you do things to get different results" and I just thought "Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do". He was also going on about how we've changed over the years throughout our "school life". He asked us to think back to year 2, year 5, year 9 and so on. I couldn't help being reminded of how I was in year 8/9. It was horrendous. Just thinking about it makes me cringe. I was such a greeb. How on earth did I think wearing my brother's hand-me-down hoodie and black skinnies could possibly make me interesting? I was incredibly fake and tried to fit in so much that it was just embarrassing. I wish now that someone had just taken me by the shoulders, shaken me and shouted "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" What a fool I was!

Things have changed now. I still see all the people I used to hang around with but to be honest, I'm glad I do. We can all laugh and cringe about how we were without explaining too much. We were all the same so none of us can complain. We're all such different people nowadays. I'm so happy I changed from what I was, but oddly, I still want to change. Does that make sense?

I Need You To Know That We'll Be Okay

Photoshop is one of my favourite applications. In fact, I think it is my favourite. I would crumple to pieces without it. However, recently I found something quite frightening that you can do with Photoshop. Something that all the magazines do to make the celebrities pretty. Something the gossip columns use to make their gossip worth while. Want to know what I found? I found out how to make you skinny. As in, really skinny. Anorexic skinny.

I edited a photo of mine that I took a while ago. Please bear in mind that I don't actually want to look like the edited image. I'm just proving a point over how much images can be edited to make you believe in something that isn't real. You ready? Okay, let's go:

Above is the original, unedited version. I'm not being cocky but I think I look quite healthy in this photo. I'm not over/underweight so not exactly green. So let's see what can be achieved with a little photoshop magic:

Now, if you think this look healthym you need your eyes checked. It's frighteningly thin. Fair enough if you are naturally thin but when you force yourself to be thin, that's not nice.

Scary stuff, huh?