I Just Need a Compass and a Willing Accomplice

It surprises me when I find out people actually read what I write or watch what I vlog. I don't really expect it. I mean sure, I want people to read what I have to say and perhaps reply every so often but when someone I know tells me they like my blog I almost have a heart attack. Seeing as most the people I know don't blog/vlog, I didn't expect anyone to take any notice of the URL in my pm on MSN but someone did and for that thank you; it made my day.

Did I mention that I got a puppy on Saturday? An Irish wolfhound. Yeah, he's gonna be a biggun. His name's Whizz and my mum only realised after we'd named him that it was slang for Speed or Cocaine. Ha-ha. I found it quite hilarious seeing as my dear mother's quite against all of that. Oh well.

A downside of having a new pet: I now smell of dog. I have to keep changing my clothes say I can't stand the smell. It's not his fault, he's just a puppy after all but I notice and I'm really not used to it. Also my cats are really jealous of him getting all the attention. I have to keep making sure I make extra effort to hug them or give them that little bit of extra attention.

"Dr Everything-Will-Be-Alright. says:
Exactly XD It's so silly: I'm planning to be spontaneous"

I'm such an idiot. How can I possibly change if I plan to? If I want to become this person I dream of I'm not supposed to plan but it's in my nature. I need someone to take the lead for once but someone who will get things done. My ego's creeping out again. Want to know a secret? I often find it hard to let people take over as I prefer to do things myself. Say for example I'm working in a group of people; I get worried that whoever is "Team Leader" will forget to do something so I remind them constantly. I stress that if I don't tell them, we'll fail. But I never offer to be "Leader". I'm so self-centred and stressed that I freak out over the simplest things. I'd rather do the work by myself then have to work in a group. I'm not saying I can't work in a group, I can. I just find it easier to work individually. Now that's what you call ego. Sickening, isn't it?